


Resetting the clock

by taeazide



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eugeo lives, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Memory Loss, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, time travelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeazide/pseuds/taeazide
Summary: The biggest regret Kirito had was leaving his best friend losing his life surrounded by a lake of blue roses.As he held onto Eugeo he heard a voice - a figment of his imagination?“Do you want to try again?”He must be going insane, but it didn’t matter anymore. “I will give up anything to bring him back.”“Anything?” There was the faintest tones of amusement. “I don’t mind watching you try again, but you have to give me something in return.”Kirito goes back in time for a price to try to escape the fate of Eugeo dying in his arms, but the past is foreign place - familiar, but not the same.
Relationships: Eugeo & Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito, Eugeo & Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito & Alice Zuberg | Alice Synthesis Thirty, Eugeo/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito
Comments: 7
Kudos: 70





	1. Where there’s an end, something begins

“I’m sorry,” Eugeo peered into Kirito’s glossy eyes. “I can’t go back to Rulid with you.” Kirito shook his head, his vision obscured by the tears that were falling. What was the other thinking? He didn’t care about Rulid with the other’s strained breathing reverberating off the walls.

“Don’t worry about that now,” Kirito mumbled out, grabbing Eugeo’s hand with his trembling one, “transfer unit durability from….” Eugeo pulled his hand abruptly away. He shook his head. It was cruel; Cruel for Kirito to see the puddle of red spreading out from Eugeo’s separated torso as something other than grotesque. The breathtaking view of the garden of frigid roses and their crystal clear thorns making their way around the room was making a mockery of him. There was a light ticking sound resounding in his head as if signalling Eugeo’s ever-decreasing life.

“Come on buddy, let me heal you.” Kirito was begging at this stage, feebly reaching out to Eugeo’s hand. What lead up to these events? What had he done so wrong that he ended up here, chasing after the fragments of his best friend’s life that kept escaping his grasp. Eugeo grabbed his hand, the coldness from the touch chilling Kirito to the bones. He brought Kirito’s hand closer to him, brushing his bluish lips on his fingers. He paused, his viridescent irises staring straight at Kirito, but they seemed to be trying to find something as if not recognising his presence in front of him. The pupils danced around in desperation, before settling randomly on some space in the air. The light looked as if it was being sucked into a void as Kirito returned the empty stare.

Death wasn’t anything like those over-dramatized scenes in movies - bittersweet tears shed as the dying person clutched onto the protagonist, ‘love yous’ exchanged and constant begging for the other to stay. Kirito shook his head, almost laughing at how cliched this was. He was broken out of his thoughts by Eugeo’s hoarse voice, his vocal chords freezing with the ice.

Death was ugly.

That was only thing that went through his mind, Eugeo’s words barely heard over his haggard breathing. ‘I-I do..n’t want to… die.’ The life in his face was gone, replaced by hollow cheeks, brows creased and eyes reflecting nothing but unfathomable fear. The unsaid words ‘I’m afraid’ hung in the air. It didn’t have to end this way; two lone souls at the top of the cathedral. Time held its breath as if respecting their privacy. Kirito couldn’t tell him that it’ll be alright, couldn’t say that they’ll wake up tomorrow and all this was some extended nasty dream. Was it worth it? Was all the pain worth saving the Underworld?

“All I can.. t-think ..about are the regrets I h-have… How I-I couldn’t h-help you m-more? H-how I didn’t even have… the cour-age to tell you t-that… I love y-you.”

Kirito held Eugeo’s top half tightly in his arms. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to think about the what ifs as a future with Eugeo was more like an unachievable dream in front of his eyes, shards of glass that continued to crack.

“Hush E-eugeo.” He choked, not knowing what to say next.

Time caught up at this moment. Eugeo broke into a thousand ice petals, floating away from him. The world had heard enough of their sob story, robbing Kirito a chance of saying anything more. He yelled out to the empty room, trying to grab the shards in desperation, as if he could put all the pieces of Eugeo back together. What he would give to try again, make some new save data and start the game of saving the Underworld again. He would do anything. He was on his knees, lost in his crying. His breath halted as he heard a voice.

_“Do you want to try again?”_

He must be going insane, but it didn’t matter anymore. “I will give up anything to bring him back.”

_“Anything?”_ The voice had the faintest tones of amusement. _“I don’t mind watching you try again, but you have to give me something in return.”_

He was desperate now and probably hallucinating. “I told you, I don’t care. Take anything you want.” The moment the words left his mouth, he felt as if he was punched in the gut, his breath taken out of him. He doubled over, clutching his stomach. He saw flashes of images before him – a girl with braided hair lying on a bed encased by his arms; the same girl saying sorry and walking away from him; another blue haired girl holding a finger gun to his temple, mouthing bang. His visions stopped on a boy with flaxen hair that danced in the breeze, his hand outstretched towards him. He tried to reach his hand towards the blonde’s, but it kept getting further away.

Then everything went black.

Kirito came to the feeling of sheets tangled around him and shook himself up in a panic. His heart pounded against his chest as he scanned around the room, searching for something he recognised. A grey uniform was roughly thrown on the ground, wrinkles gradually forming, an obsidian blade propped in the corner of the room and the smell of something savoury wafted around the room. He brought his gaze to his hands, shocked as he saw water droplets landing on them. He was taken out of his confusion, by the squeaking of a door. Someone swiftly made their way in, not sparing Kirito a look at first, heading to place their sword by the lonely black blade. The intruder finally looked at him, eyebrows raised a bit. “K-Kirito? I thought you were asleep.” Kirito felt his breath stop short, as the stream of tears increased. “what’s wron..?” He blinked, and next thing he knew he was on his toes, arms encircled around the other. “hey buddy, what’s wrong?” Kirito felt a gentle hand running their fingers through his hair. He was losing himself in the sensation, lost to his surroundings. He was confused by all this, but the warmth of the other seemed like it signalled to him it’ll be alright. The sensation blew away his worries, even if he had no clue who the person he was holding onto was.


	2. Forget-me-not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirito comes to terms with his memories being gone and realises a possible reason as to why he ended up in this state.

The stranger repeated, “What’s wrong Kirito?” Kirito slowly lifted his tear stained face, swollen from all the crying to stare at the other. He felt lost in those swirling green orbs, framed by his straw-coloured hair. He was drawn into how foreign, yet nostalgic they were. It felt like he had spent the length of his life returning the stranger’s gaze.

"I'm really happy…” Kirito took a shaky breath, the brief smile of pure happiness vanished, clouded by uncertainty, “but I don't know why."

The blond let out a soft chuckle that lingered in the air as if to diffuse the smothering silence. "You're so weird sometimes Kirito." Kirito held onto the stranger tighter, almost losing sensation in his fingers. _So, his own name was Kirito?_ He couldn’t contain his uneasiness any longer and voiced the truth - more to accept the reality of it than to get some kind of response from the stranger.

“I-I don’t remember anything.”

The green crystals widened. The blonde opened his mouth, closing it, picking his words, before disbelief overwhelmed him.

“Quit kidding around, you’re scaring me.” This whole situation was scaring him, Kirito thought. Eugeo was about to voice something, but Kirito shook his head. Eugeo’s expression was marred by something he couldn’t place his finger on; His eyes were narrowed, deep in thought, creases making crevices on his forehead. Was it anguish? Betrayal? Kirito had no idea, but he knew one thing: they had both lost something at the moment. Something had departed – gone forever.

“You don’t remember me?” The stranger immediately backed away realisation dawning onto him - the person embracing him saw him as nothing more than a stranger. He broke out of Kirito’s arms, jabbing a stiff index finger at himself. “It’s me Eugeo.” Silence settled in the space and an unspoken plead lingered. Kirito mouthed his name; it felt so normal on his lips, but strange.

“I don’t.”

“Not again.” Eugeo shook his head and stomped off to the window, staring aimlessly out, looking at anywhere, but Kirito. “It was okay when I didn’t know you, but I don’t know why I feel like this now,” he muttered to himself, head against the glass.

_This wasn’t the first time then._

The blonde boy looked engulfed by his emotions, but the next minute he turned his gaze back, eyes frozen over and held out his hand towards him.

It dawned on Kirito how precarious his situation was. He knew nothing in this place and could do nothing but hang onto the words of the familiar, yet practically a stranger in front of him.

“Let me introduce myself to you again. I’m Eugeo. I hope we become good friends.” The stranger - no Eugeo – smiled, but Kirito knew the tell-tale sign of stiff cheeks and lips pressed too tightly they lost their colour. It pained him to pretend nothing was wrong, but Kirito didn’t comment anything, more surprised by how well the other was taking all this on. Or was this all a show? It didn’t matter. Eugeo knew him before he lost his memories and was all he could rely on now. He didn’t like how vulnerable he felt, but his hand was already holding Eugeo’s as if by reflex. He noticed the warmth before he realised his actions. Eugeo was observing him carefully as if waiting for some form of recognition, but let go of his hand when nothing followed. He brought the hand to the back of his head awkwardly. “Guess I have a lot of explaining for you.” Eugeo made his way over to the bed, gesturing Kirito to accompany him. Eugeo filled him in on how they met, oddly quite similar to this moment. Kirito had appeared out of nowhere lost in Rulid village and stumbled across Eugeo in the midst of his daily woodcutting duties as part of his calling.

“Calling?” Eugeo knew he had a long day before him, but it was okay since he had done the exact same thing before - explaining the laws of the world to Kirito.

Kirito listened intently to Eugeo’s voice telling about their adventures – their 2 years together he had no recollection of. No wonder the blonde looked so distraught. There was a weird dull clenching pain in his chest this entire time, and looking at Eugeo trying to be helpful, but conflicted only augmented it. What made him lose his memories? Did it hurt more to remember or forget them? Were they better gone? Kirito didn’t know what to think. Were they lost, because he couldn’t bear them?

“Hey Kirito, are you listening?” He was taken aback by worried green orbs again so close to his face.

“Don’t overthink too much about it.” The blonde ruffled his hand through his hair, Kirito lost himself in the slight tingles it spread across his body. Eugeo withdrew his hand abruptly. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t do that anymore. You don’t know me.”

Kirito didn’t know what overtook him at that moment as he grabbed the other’s shoulders. “Eugeo, treat me like you always. I don’t want this souring our friendship. I don’t remember it, but I just know it was – no is important to me.” He was holding Eugeo hands in his now, feeling his callouses from the years of hard labour. “And my memories, don’t worry if they’re gone. We can always make more.”

In the span of the last hour he had been with the other, Eugeo finally let a genuine smile out. “You’re unbelieveable, you know that?” They sat in comfortable silence, each lost in the labyrinth of today’s events.

“Hey Kirito, are you afraid now that your memories are gone?” Eugeo hesitantly queried.

The words flowed out without restraint. “To be honest, I am….bloody terrified,” he paused, “I don’t know what I did for the last 20 years – who I talked to? What I wanted to do? Who I …” his rambling was cut off by strong arms wrapping around him.

“Stay cool. We’ll get them back. You have me for now.” Eugeo rubbed circles on his back and he felt like he could believe those words, but the phase ‘stay cool’ brought some unknown terror into him. He had heard the same words just a moment ago, but he didn’t know where. A chime of a bell broke him out of his thoughts.

“Oh! I have to go to class.” Eugeo leapt up, smoothing out his shirt, but hesitated, peering unsurely at Kirito. Kirito prepared to get up as well, but Eugeo already had his back to him. “Kirito you stay here, I’ll tell them you’re unwell.” He opened his mouth to deny the suggestion, but the idea of avoiding a sudden hit of more information was appealing to him. He was already tired trying to go through what Eugeo had told him. “Besides I’m not lying to them,” Eugeo gave him another blinding smile, “you’re a bit sick in the head.”

“Oi!” Kirito leapt after the blonde boy, but Eugeo had already sprinted off, his laughter fading off into the hallway.

He was alone now. He let out a sigh. He felt like an intruder in this room without his ‘friend’ – could he even call Eugeo his friend? He collapsed onto his bed, swimming in his thoughts. He’s an in-training swordsman. His goal was to win the tournament with Eugeo and become an integrity knight. Then they would enter the central cathedral to save Eugeo’s childhood friend Alice who had been taken away for violating the laws of this world. He felt like laughing at himself, a swordsman. Why did that sound so right, yet unbelievable? He decided that he couldn’t spend the entire day in the safe confines of his room and took the lone black blade left on the stand. He wandered aimlessly out of the school to a clearing surrounded by sparse trees, trying to keep in mind the direction he came from. He took his sword out of the sheathe and put his weight on his right foot, bringing his dominant hand with the weight of his sword next to his face. It released a bright glow. He launched forward with a gush of wind. He knew the name of this move. _Vorpal strike!_ Eugeo wasn’t lying when he said he was a swordsman. He felt his thoughts slip from his mind as he tried multiple skills. He knew how to do these moves and even their names. It wasn’t hopeless. He could get his memories back and get rid of this uneasiness gnawing at him. He collapsed on his knees crying in relief, his sword stabbed into the ground.

“Hey, you’re Kirito right?” Kirito jotted, shocked that he hadn’t noticed someone else here as well. He couldn’t lift his teary face up in embarrassment, but then saw a handkerchief placed in front of his view. He grabbed onto it reluctantly, wiping his face. “I always thought your skills were a bit unusual. What sword style do you use?” Kirito was grateful the other was ignoring his shaken state. Eyes dry, he finally lifted his gaze up and saw a girl, hair tired back neatly into a high ponytail, her chocolate locks flowing behind her. He got up to his feet. “Aincard style.” It just came out, like other words he shouldn’t know, but somehow did. “Wow, a new sword style I don’t know. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Sortiliena.” The girl laughed, before looking towards the sun. “it’s getting late isn’t it? Wait, aren’t you meant to be in class?” Kirito was lost for words, not sure how to explain his situation. He didn’t want anyone else to know about his amnesia, but Sortiliena nodded as if in understanding, bring a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, but you owe me.”

Kirito wandered off back to his room. Some of his memories came back, not as images, but as words. He glanced at the sword attached to his waist fondly. He found himself drifting off, images of his sword shining and the sound of the blade slicing the air lulling him to sleep.

_The air around him felt like a blanket of ice. Where was he? He quickly surveyed his surroundings, eyeing the red carpet and marble walls. His eyes stayed on the thin windows revealing expanses of blue sky that stretched ceaselessly. How high up was he?_

_“…Kirito.”_

_He chased the whisper and spotted a body sprawled out on the ground, covered in tattered blue robes. Dread ran through him. He wanted to look away, but felt himself drawn to the other, his feet unconsciously pacing closer. A voice in his head was telling his to turn back and run far, so far away from here. The closer he came, the more he could make out red plaguing the expanse of the frosted floor. Then he saw green orbs that he knew so well. “Eugeo….” Eugeo brought a shaky hand to his face. Apologies spilled from his lips, before blinding pain stopped him. He felt nails clawing into his face, Eugeo’s grip tightening. “Eugeo?”_

_“It’s your fault. All this is your fault.” The blonde brought a sword with a single blue rose to Kirito’s chest. A scream ripped his throat as he felt the blade slice through his insides._

“Kirito! Kiri …… wake up!” He came to the same green eyes. The accusing look was gone now. His breathe came and went. His lungs burned, attempting to suck in some air, but it felt like a vacuum. “Calm down! It’s just a nightmare.” He knew that, but it felt so real. He was just holding Eugeo’s dying body in his hands before. He gripped the arms in front of him making sure it wasn’t a figment of his imagination. "It's okay." Those strong arms pulled him out of his blankets into the hall. “Can’t have you hulled up here all day.” Kirito’s legs dangled behind him trying to keep up. He was surprised Eugeo ignored his outburst from before. Could he bring himself to trust his companion? Fuck it. “Eugeo, have we ever been to cathedral that’s really high in the air?” At least that’s what he thought the place in his dream was.

“No, that’s the central cathedral isn’t it?” Eugeo was looking at him now, prompting to say what he saw in the depths of his mind. I saw you cut in half - of course Kirito couldn’t say that. Eugeo let out a soundless sigh at Kirito's silence, Kirito wouldn’t have caught if he wasn’t so taken in by the boy. The pain in his chest still remained and he didn’t know why it was still there. Eugeo dragged him to the dining hall for dinner. As they found a table at the corner, two people stood in their way before they could take a seat. “Humbert right and Raios left,” Eugeo mumbled under breath. Kirito gave a brief nod grateful for no awkward introductions, but his head stung. Blinding pain caused him wince briefly as he saw a flash of Humbert with blood pouring out from his severed right limb and Raios convulsing erratically on the floor. Kirito looked down at his hands drenched in blood, almost let out another scream, but the vision vanished the moment he blinked again. What was that?

“Funny seeing Sir Kirito here, don’t you think Humbert?” Raios smirked, lightly tapping the other as if telling him to observe some zoo exhibition.

“I remember Sir Eugeo saying that Kirito was too unfit for class.” Humbert peered at Eugeo as if waiting for acknowledgement.

“It looks more like he’s unfit to be a swordsman in-training.”

“Should have signed up to be a lady-in-training instead, don’t you think so Sir Eugeo?” They both let out a nasty chuckle. Humbert’s eyes were still on Eugeo waiting for some response to his ‘witty’ joke. Kirito decided that even without his memories he doesn’t want to spend a second longer with these guys. He looked at his partner who looked as if he hadn’t been listening.

“It was nice seeing you gentlemen, but Kirito and I will eat later. See you Sir Raios and Sir Humbert.” Kirito watched in curiosity as disappointment flashed on Humbert’s sharp features, his eyes following the departing Eugeo.

The blonde’s arm dragged him along. His thoughts lingered on Humbert’s odd actions and the vision he had seen. Were those his memories? But that didn’t make sense. The guys that had spoken to him clearly weren’t the same wounded people that he had saw. He felt like he couldn’t take up this conversation with Eugeo. It was too confusing and vague. Eugeo probably already thought he was insane. As he left his thoughts, he saw that Eugeo had brought him to a garden. Bushes lined the fences, various carnations crept along the soil, the fragrance of blooming flowers wafted in the air.

Eugeo plucked a branch of a blue bush near his feet.

“You always love this place.” Eugeo states, placing the flower branch in Kirito’s hand. The dainty blue petals appeared so delicate. It was a forget-me-not. Oh the irony. It was too late for that though. All the memories of the boy who looked wistfully into his eyes were gone. His gaze was then were pulled to an empty pot right next to the black fence. Then, instantly flowers sprouted from the ground, their edges dipped in purple. “Zephyrias.”

“Zephyrias?” Eugeo looked at him befuddled. Oh, he had said those words aloud. “They can’t grow in these soils.” He looked back at the pot, the flower petals had shivered up, before the whole scene faded into the dusk of the night.

“Did I ever grow flowers here?”

Eugeo eyes widened at the question. He looked a bit excited as if Kirito had remembered something. “You’ve always been saying that you wanted to try something new.”

This didn’t make sense. Was he really losing it? What were these scenes he saw? The only thing that seemed plausible was that these were his memories, but none of what he has seen has happened yet. Eugeo wasn’t bleeding out. Raios and Humbert were still standing. He saw flowers that were impossible to grow here. The only conclusion no matter how ridiculous was that he came from the future for some inexplicable reason. His eyes found themselves to Eugeo, grinning at him.

Was it to save him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I left a week in between, but I felt a bit lost writing this chapter. It was hard to not sound repetitive in Kirito's thoughts. Please leave some comments if you like it and suggestions if you have any. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I have always wanted to rewrite the scene where Eugeo died as it broke my heart, ever since I read the light novel. Now with quarantine I finally made time to get it up. I'll be adding some warning as the story comes along, but be prepared for some angst. Please leave some comments below, if you have anything to say. This ship is too underrated.


End file.
